WARNING: Sorry
this blog is looooooong we haven’t written in almost two months.
Many of you
guys know the story of how we arrived to Guatemala and how God provided every
single step to come here. Also, how we
got in contact with the guy that wanted to give us a free place to start the feeding
center. However, this guy and his family are not Christian, Catholic or any other
religion and at the time when we started the feeding center “I” thought that this was not a problem. We believe that God changes hearts and we
wanted to try to plant a seed in his heart.
THE BAD: After a month of running the feeding center
friction started and he started to question us by going against everything we
said and also starting to try to change the rules and ways that we were running
the feeding program. Therefore,
miscommunication happened and assumptions started. For example, he believed we
were getting a monthly salary for running the feeding center (which is not true
we live by individual donations), and he assumed other ministries have this so
we must as well. He also believed that
we needed to run our ministry the same way other ministries did. By saying this by no means are we saying that
we did everything right my lack of communication made him believe other things,
my lack of leadership gave him a chance to step over me, and my lack of wisdom
made we believe I could run a ministry with someone that had a different belief
system than me. We had told him from the beginning that he could make the rules
for his home but when it came to ministry these decisions we would make. However,
more and more this seemed to no longer be something he was willing to do and eventually
he told us, “ We will do things here in my way, that is the only option you
have.’’ At this point he took the
position of authority and not of a servant for the kids, and when he told me
all of this believe it or not I kept my mouth shut which is something God has
been teaching me lately. Afterwards I went and asked for advice because when it
comes to doing the work of God we cannot do this alone and we need as much
wisdom as we can get and a lot of humbleness too. So, I asked for wisdom from two pastors here
is Guatemala, a pastor from Canada, and another pastor from America. All of them told me the same thing keep
working because the vision has not changed maybe the battle has and maybe the
circumstances have but the vision has not nor the mission. One of them told me
do not burn bridges, and he is right we did not come to burn bridges but to
build them. So I kept working with him.
However, all this time I had an itch in my heart and I really wanted to
confront him not in a mean way or to make him less than me, but to make things
clear with him. As I said before I had my fault in all of this. I want you to know that he is not and was not
part of our ministry he just was lending us his house. So the first week of May
he told me he needed a door, a window, and a roof for his house where we had
the feeding center, and I told him that before we spent more money that I
needed to talk to him. I started by saying thank you for all the help that he
had given us because without his house we could not have had the feeding center
at that time. I then apologized for
every misunderstanding that I caused and every offence that I made. Then I told
him that in his house he can be the boss and the ruler because that is his
domain, but when it comes to the ministry of God my wife and I are going to be
the ones that decide the best that we can and if he did not agree I would find
another place, but I did not want to go to that extreme because I like him even
though we have our differences. I said all of this as kindly as I possibly
could. I chose my tone and my words carefully. None of this works when a man
has his mind set on something nothing can change it. His reaction was, “give me
fifteen days and you will take some kids and I will take some”. However,
nothing of that is what I had said to him. His answer shocked, but did not surprise
me. So, I told him you did not listen to
a word of what I said I am not going to go pick kids I’m not here for that to
me that is just mean and this is not a competition. Now, the drop that filled the cup was when I responded
by saying “let’s please go pray and ask for wisdom, understanding, and
knowledge” and he told me, “I do not need any wisdom, understanding, or
knowledge I have all of this and I do not need to pray, I will think and see
what I come up with, God left all of that to us on the earth. “ At this moment
I stopped talking because my heart was hurt, I am a prideful man and I thought:
Is that how I look? Is that how I sound? Is that how my wife sees me? Is this
what I am portraying to the world and the people that I am around?(wow pride is
an ugly thing) So I just said thank you
again and I left because I realized I cannot do ministry with a man that does
not fear the Lord.
A few
months ago I met a pastor in San Mateo, the same town we are working in, and he
told me whenever you need our church it is open to you anytime, and if you want
to start something here you are welcome to for free; however, at the time we
had already started using Byron’s home so we humble declined the need to use the
church. After I had the conversation
with Byron I returned to the pastor and told him of the difficulties we were
having and he said the offer was still available to use the church for the
feeding center or whatever we may need.
To make
this story short (LOL), the next feeding day Byron (the man’s house we were
using) basically kicked us out and gave
the kids an option to stay with him or go with us. Sadly, all of the kids
picked him and at this time we already had 40 kids.
Now THE UGLY: When the kids chose to stay
with him I felt that what I had done for two months was worthless, a waste of
time, and a waste of resources. I love them, I was teaching them the bible,
respectful prayers, and thankfulness, and this made it seem meaningless. I had a question for so long, why did they not
choose me, “but I am the good guy’’? Well no one is good, just one is good, and
that is our Father in heaven. Then we
moved to the church, Asamblea de Dios, (Assembly of God) and the thought of why
they did not come with us was still chasing me, I asked myself what I did
wrong, maybe my intentions were wrong, or my approach was wrong, or I am too
hard to work with. That first day at the church just nine kids showed up and
that was because the wife of the pastor went to homes and basically begged for
people to send their kids. I had an awful
attitude feeling sorry for myself, I was not happy, but I wasn’t mad either. I
was continually whining in my head. You may wonder why I
am telling you all of this and it is because as I always say, you as a reader
and/or supporter need to know what we are doing and how we are doing the
ministry of God, every ministry has problems and battles and you deserve to
know it. Not just to fulfill your curiosity but to show you accountability and
hopefully to teach you the imperfection of the human being and how much more we
have left to learn.
Now I have stopped my whinning and I have
come to find out the rumors/lies about us and reason the moms chose to send
their kids to him and not to us; however we know there is nothing we can do
about these lies but to keep keeping on and to do all we do to glorify Him.
Finally THE GOOD: Now we have a bigger place,
the pastor and his family has welcomed us with open arms, the pastor has built
us a storage and kitchen area in the church, we started with 9 kids two weeks
ago and now have 30 kids, the pastor’s wife helps us to cook each time and is
always waiting at the doors to get started preparing the meal, this women is a
warrior and faithful servant of the Lord, we are now working with Christians
and that makes the work easier, and there is so much more peace at this feeding
center. Now, the kids from the other feeding center come to give us hugs and
say hi every time they see us. This just demonstrates to me that maybe I really
did do something good, that at the time I did not see. Even a few moms from the
old feeding center have told me that they will send their children to us. Every day at the new feeding center the kids
smile a little more, laugh a little freer, and let down some walls.
In the
midst of our trials I had the opportunity to go and preach for 600 youth and
young adults. My theme was, THE VISION. I
am not going to preach to you or write my whole sermon here, but I think that
many believers have misunderstood or do not know the vision of the Christian. So I want to leave you with these four
thoughts: 1. You have to love your
God with all you being and you neighbor as
well(Matthew 22:37-39). 2. If you
love God you will fear God, and that
is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10). 3. Therefore, you will seek
His kingdom and all the rest will be added (Matthew 6: 23). 4.
If you know all of this you will go and understand the purpose of God
and the reason of you being in this world, and you will understand your VISION
(Matthew 10:16). In conclusion, love
your God so you can fear your God, and you will seek Him; therefore, you will understand His will. If you are
wondering what is the VISION of the Christian it is not your family, it is not
your church, it is not even your ministry, IT IS CHRIST/GOD/HOLY SPIRIT, your
eyes fixed on HIM.
I have also
had the great pleasure of speaking at Casa Aleluya, children’s home, for over 300 kids. With them
I spoke about not sitting still, that just because you are young it does not
mean you can’t stand up and be a leader (1 Timothy 4:11-16). I used Timothy because
he was a young man sent by the apostle Paul and it is such a great example of
leadership and how a young man or women can be an example to those even in the
church: 1. In Word, 2. Conduct, 3. Love, 4. Faith, 5. Purity. If you are
younger (not just in age but in Christianity as well) and you are reading this remember
God can use you as well as any man in the Bible and you can be an example to
others. Do not be afraid because the same God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is
your God as well. That same God that used
all of these great men is the same God now that can use you as well. God I not
asking for you to be rich or powerful or old, nor is he asking for gold,
silver, or jewels. He is asking for you fellow brother. You that is willing to give your life for Him.
The Lord is asking for your best, your everything, not for your preparation.
I have been
able lead a bible study in the church here in Santa Lucia where the theme was
about worshiping. I love to worship God,
I love to lift my hand, to shout, cry, dance, to bend my knees in front of God
because God asks for our best. I do it in front of people because when I am in
the presence of the Lord I do not care if they see my or not. I taught this
group about the freedom that we should feel in the presence of the Lord. My
example was King David and how he was after the heart of God. One more time I
encourage you to find the freedom that you are missing. I encourage you to give
your whole self when you are in the presence of the Lord. When you are broken,
cry before Him. When you are filled with His joy, shout, clap, dance of His
goodness. When you are humbled, fall before him. Let your heart be seen in worship. This is
not about you being a Baptist, Presbyterian, or Charismatic this is about you
and the Lord. Not about your religion, belief system, and for sure not your
church, it is about you and God and your offering towards Him. My brother be courageous and brave in the
presence of the Lord.
Last one…
that I remember. I was invited to preach for 40 women. I talked to them about
women and leadership(not the head but a leader) not just in their house, but
also in the church. I used the apostle
Paul and all the many women that he mentioned in his letters. You may defer
from me about a women and the role that she may take, but I believe if a man is
not leading, why not a women? A man is
unable to complain if he is not doing what he is called to do. As I have
learned, do not complain for something that you allow in your life. Also, I
used Genesis 2:18 when God in His immense wisdom gave us women not to be the
cleaning lady, not to be the dishwasher, but to be our helper, to be our
supporter, to be our equal as God created us in same image and the man as the
head. However, a woman can be a helper
or can be a curse based on what she may choose to be (Proverbs 12:4). The decision
depends on each one of you.
My fellow brothers
in Christ, may my God bless you all and give you a thousand times what you have
given to us. Remember you are not a number you are a friend.
P.S. We
have so much to tell you, bad and good, but I don’t want to bore you. However, please feel free to email us at oneforguate@gamil.com
Your
brother and sister in Christ,
P.J and
Morgan….and Kala!
